Mother's day

梅爱娣：母亲无私付出‧身为儿女要有感恩心
2009-05-09 15:15 *

（霹雳‧怡保）母亲节到了，5月10日为母亲节，天下的母亲都是一样的，给儿女留下永恆的爱。每年5 月第二週日被定为“母亲节”，我们要祝福天下的母亲，健康快乐！

怡保圣母中小学校友会主席梅爱娣说，母亲节是感恩的节日，身为儿女的，对母亲为抚养我们付出的爱，要有感恩之心。

梅爱娣也是大马国际职业妇女怡保分会理事，她受访时说，她每年在母亲节都买一份礼物送给母亲。

母亲一生坎坷

她说，她母亲陈新友，现年91岁。她母亲走过的是坎坷一生，两岁就丧母，生父再婚，由祖母抚养。由於在贫困家境中成长，没有受教育的机会，11岁开始在巴士车站与火车站卖甘蔗，帮补家用；较后又到工厂包香烟及其他散工。

梅爱梯说，她父亲梅財是一名木匠，母亲22岁时嫁给父亲。结婚后，为人之母，相夫教子之外，还继续工作以助家计。在外接衣服回来家里缝纫，兼看顾孩子。

瞭解受教育重要

“母亲体会到文化水准低很吃亏，知道受教育的重要，她让全部4个孩子（2男2女）上学读书，不会重男轻女。

梅爱娣说，她的父母亲，是工人阶级组成的家庭，双亲苦心栽培、鼓励儿女努力读书，在经济能力极限下，儿女总算完成中学教育，能在政府部门或私人公司任职，生活总算比上一代较进步了。接下来第3代，即孙儿孙女们，这一代已培育了大专生及专业人士。

“母亲晚年皈依了基督，保持乐观人生，可说是苦尽甘来。做儿孙的，个个孝顺使她安慰。”

身为人母后感触深

“母亲时常劝导我们，被人欺负或受到委屈，或被人误会也要先忍，因为有句广东话‘人欺不为欺、天欺嘸得企’。”

梅爱娣说，她本人也当了38年母亲，想起母亲一生为她辛劳和操心，付出毫无条件的爱。反省一下，自己也为人母，那种滋味，有无限感触。自己觉得这一生一世，亏欠母亲太多，愿神恩保佑妈妈，得到健康、喜悦、平安！
星洲日报／大霹雳‧2009.05.08

News about my elder sister Mdm Moy Ooi Thye

星洲日報

2009-02-24 16:56

獲頒全國卓越婦女獎
小時候的梅愛娣，以為自己長大後會當一名車衣妹。30年前她投身保險界，憑著好學不倦和誠意服務的精神，在事業上交出卓越表現擢升保險集團經理，並在2008年榮獲<全國卓越婦女獎>。
由吉隆坡婦女管理學院（WIM）舉辦，並以前首相夫人敦茜蒂哈斯瑪醫生命名的<全國卓越婦女獎>榮譽，得來不易；而提名競賽者必須是來自貧苦家庭背景，事業成功的奮鬥過程，及參與社會工作所作出的貢獻，都是為評審員打分的條件。
梅愛娣從艱苦中奮鬥，創造自己的事業，熱心社會工作，使她在全國35位提名女性中，經過嚴格評審而過關，成為2008年國內5名入選的卓越婦女之一。
這名努力改寫自己命運的女性，她奮鬥的經歷，讓我們值得為她報上一個激賞的掌聲。
來自貧窮木匠家庭
梅愛娣來自一個貧困家庭，父親是一名木匠，母親在家裡車衣，賺取微薄家用。她排行第二，上有哥哥，下有弟妹。
小學畢業後，因家境不允許，加上看到哥哥因常沒有錢交學費，而被學校禁止考試，梅愛娣已盤算不升中學，準備向媽媽陳新友學車衣，為家庭幫補家用。
雖然如此，她心中還是非常渴望升中學，她禁不住向媽媽提出<請給我一個月時間，讓我嚐試讀中學的滋味>的請求，讓媽媽心疼不已，奈何實在付不起學費。
借錢實現升學夢
升中學，是梅愛娣人生的轉捩點，也多虧有貴人相助。當時文冬華小蔡金好老師勸她媽媽，讓成績優良的梅愛娣升中學。於是她媽媽下定決心，四處奔波向親友借錢，想盡辦法要實現女兒的升學夢。
後來媽媽的友人建議梅愛娣去怡保聖母女中升學，因此校每月5令吉的學費很便宜。她入學後，驚喜發現此校設有<清貧學生助學金>，在文冬華小校長梁志平協助下，她獲得了6年的免費中學教育。
憐惜母親自幼吃苦
梅愛娣很愛父母，尤其是母親陳新友。陳新友自出娘胎2個月就失去母親，自幼吃苦，嫁人後為家庭勞心勞力，梅愛娣自懂事以來，就立願要讓父母享福。
她考完大馬教育文憑考試的最後一張試卷後，就立刻去教學生補習，當起補習老師。當時她的念頭是：<快快賺錢作家用，減輕父母重擔>。
她之後當私人公司書記、申請師訓和護士課程，最後選擇在中央醫院當文員，因覺得公務員的收入較穩定。
梅愛娣接觸和投身保險業，也和母親有關。她第一次聽到保險代理員講解保險，就覺得保險是很不錯的人生財務規劃，她立刻想到要買一份保險，並以母親作為受益人。
她認為保險是可以幫助人們規劃財務的行業，對保險產生莫大的興趣。在一位同事的介紹下，而開始兼職做保險。
提昇事業好學不倦
梅愛娣白天當文員，晚上從事保險，身兼兩職，並不言倦。較後，她辭去文員工作，全心全力投入保險業務，為自己在保險業開拓一條康莊大道。
梅愛娣為人謙虛、真誠、勤勉及人緣好，為她奠下事業成功的根基，創下斐然成績，在保險界打造優越的服務品牌。
為了提昇事業的專業，好學不倦的她，對國家銀行管制保險公司和代理質素等各項研討會課程及財務管理課程，一一進修。
她花了5、6年時間報考亞洲太平洋區保險專業文憑共8個單元課程，時常在吉隆坡和檳城兩地奔波聽課，以獲得多項課程高級證書。
她表示，小時候因家庭貧困而差一點失去升中學的機會，然而從事保險讓她得以找到昂貴的學費，去實現戴上大學四方帽的夢想。
完成讀大學夢想
2002年在紐西蘭鳳凰國際大學財務規劃商科學士學位畢業典禮上，穿上畢業袍戴上四方帽的梅愛娣是霹州唯一的學生，當時在場86歲的母親，臉上掛上喜悅；而丈夫和孩子給她報上特別響的掌聲。那時刻的興奮，至今仍深刻留在她的腦海。
她是基督徒，她認為很多事都有前因後果，即使遇上艱難，也只是一個考驗，不要怕艱辛，要有堅強的信念，要懂得感恩，任何的問題都會雨過天晴。
梅愛娣在事業上獲得的成就，也深得家人激賞。長子伍治中目前在吉隆坡擔任土木工程師，女兒伍芝敏博士在4年前加入保險界，準備接媽媽的事業棒。
【梅愛娣簡介】
梅愛娣，62歲，來自怡保文冬，與丈夫伍瑞山育有一子一女，目前擔任大東方人壽保險集團經理，是一名成功的創業型女性。
【奪獎】
2008年<全國卓越婦女獎>
【社團職位】
● 怡保聖母中小學校友會主席
● 怡保聖母中小學及幼稚園董事
● 曾擔任霹靂中華大會堂婦女組主任、馬來西亞壽險代理及財務顧問公司霹靂分會副主席、霹靂華裔聯誼會理事等。
【奮鬥史】
● 小學在文冬念書，畢業後在怡保聖母女中升學。
● 中學畢業後，分別從事補習老師和書記工作，較後在怡保中央醫院擔任文員。
● 1978年，開始兼職保險工作。
● 辭去文員工作，專心從事保險，1982年升級監理。
● 1992年考獲馬來西亞保險學院保險行銷文憑。
● 1995年考獲亞洲太平洋區保險專業文憑。
● 1996年升級大東方人壽保險集團經理，同年榮獲大馬人壽險卓越領袖獎，在10名得獎者中，她是唯一的女性。
● 2002年考獲紐西蘭鳳凰國際大學財務規劃商科學士。
● 2005年當選怡保城鄉俱樂部十大優秀媽媽。
● 2006年當選大馬壽險業十大卓越領袖獎。
● 2008年榮獲全國婦女卓越獎。
星洲日報／大霹靂‧2009.02.24

My mother and me (Chinese)

母亲与我

作者：梅国民 Dip. In Translation M.U.(第三儿子)

我在1948年在一个小村庄出世，我记得我们的家就像其他屋子没水没电。每晚，母亲会唱催眠曲来引我和妹妹入睡。后来，英国人宣布紧急法令，因为森林里有某国际主义的游击队。全部旧文冬居民都搬迁到全村被铁丝网围绕的文冬新村。我们获得一块免费的地以建造房屋。我记得母亲牵着我的手走入一间屋顶锌片的新板屋。

7岁时，我入学了，就是村内设备不大好的学校。入学前一天，母亲叫我努力读书，以便将来做个有用的人。第二天，我穿上校服，母亲陪我上学。当时，校规尚不严格，一些同学尚无穿校服。我的母亲是严守规律者，故我是第一天就穿上校服者之一。我学业相当好，母亲很高兴。有时别人欺负我，我告之，第二天，她会到校劝那位同学，告诉他同学间应互相帮忙与相亲相爱。

念完小学，我要升中学了。当时，有两间教会学校，三德与圣母。此两校为教会开办，故学费与杂费都便宜。母亲说父亲赚钱不多，我们只好去念便宜的中学。姐姐念圣母，而我念三德。这是一个隐形的祝福。当时，政府实行中学改制，全部中学都要以英文为媒介语。以传教为目标与学费较低的教会学校对於更改媒介语的问题毫无困难。

在我的幼小脑袋里，常常对於力大无穷的火车头感得好奇，因为它能拉动几万吨的车厢与货物。故，我小时希望能成为一个科学家，但长大了，并无完成此志愿。原因为我比较倾向于非科学科目,语言，时事，政治等。后来，母亲说“儿子，你的学校以英文为媒介语，将来你有机会成为公务员。” 长大后，我果然成为公务员，因为政府不会破产与裁员。我做了27年的公务员，大概是母亲的一语劝言罢。我提前退休后，便在吉隆坡私人界上班。业余，我为本地报章写时事评论。我的时事评论稿件曾于星加坡联合早报，马来西亚星洲日报，南洋商报，光华日报，中国报等刊登。

小时，母亲带我去旧街场的广发购物，因为当时没有特易购，巨人与JAYAJUSCO。购物后，母亲会带我去近打组屋对面我最喜欢的鱼丸面档吃面或米粉。在1980年代初期，我还带我的三个小孩到那个面当吃面，但不知今天，该面档尚存否。

母亲的一生相当凄惨，她两个月大时，妈妈去世了。她也有健康问题，两次进院开刀，一次眼睛问题，另一次是胃的问题。她安全度过了两个健康危机。不然，我们的童年也可能会很凄惨。

我的母亲不是一个特别的妈妈，也没有什么值得炫耀的。她只是遵从孔子的教训，好好地照顾丈夫与孩子，更不会在困难中放弃责任。我的父母，特别是母亲，有一套特别的养育孩子办法。我们都学习母亲的教导方法。她的孩子都有良好的品德与相当良好的教育，而她的孙子都受相当高的教育。

90岁了，母亲一切尚正常。她看与听得清楚，步行也正常。在此吉祥的时刻，我祝她一个“快乐与难忘的生日” 。

（笔于母亲90岁生日〕

A Chinese Maxim

岂有远道思亲泪
QI YOU YUAN DAO SI QIN LEI
唯有高堂念子心
WEI YOU GAO TANG NIAN ZI XIN

My maternal grandmother

我的外婆，陈新友自传

我的外婆在1919年出生，就是农历的羊年。羊象征勤劳，忍耐与强悍。根据华人风俗，每人一出生就是一岁，故，她现在是庆祝90岁生日。

他的命运坎坷，生母在她大约两个月大时病逝。生父再婚，他只好和祖母一齐生活，故缺乏父爱与母爱。

她少年时过着清苦的生活，因为她的祖母的工作只是在菜市场卖菜。少年时，她已经知道贫穷的意义与忍受耻辱。她穿的衣服都是别人穿过的，太大，破损或补过。她没机会上学，而只在家里处理家务。

11岁的时候，他在巴士站与火车站卖甘蔗，后来又到工厂包香烟以及其他工作。这样她才能很节俭地过活。每天，他从早上7时工作到晚上9时，没有任何休息。

17岁时，她最亲密的家庭成员，祖母去世了，变成孤寡一人。生父与后母只好接她回来一起住。但是，她还是很勤劳地供养自己。20岁时，他尝到了爱情并且和一位叫梅财的木匠订婚，2年后正式结婚。虽然他们不是有钱，但快乐，因为她的丈夫赚取足够的生活费。他不再需要工作，还得到爱与关心。几个月后，她怀了第一胎，憧憬着为人之母之喜悦。她的第一个男孩在1941出世，

生活有甜有苦。不幸的，他的儿子3个月大时，日本人侵略马来亚。日治时期，每人都在惧怕与困难中生活，那时工作机会少，粮食也缺乏。她的丈夫赚不了多少钱，她不得不在市场里卖衣服。后来，三个孩子也继续出世了。为了看管孩子，她留在家车衣服赚取微利，每件才数分钱。

孩子读书了，她更努力地工作。除了车衣服，每天她必需为家人煮饭和做家务。每天她工作18个小时，只在半夜一时至五时之间睡觉。

每年初，她都为孩子开学的开销如书本，校服，学费而烦恼。但是，他坚决让每个孩子，无论男女，都能上学。幸运的是，街坊与朋友都很支持她。甚至文冬小学的梁志萍校长给予她的4个孩子学费半价。梁太太也常来看她与借钱给她买书本与其他需要的物件。

他常常劝告孩子“虽然我没有受过正式的教育，但是我知道你们的出头办法是通过教育。你们要好好学习，不要担心学费，我有办法“

她的孩子都听话与完成了小学。但是，她的任务并还没了结。更加头痛的是中学开销更大。那时，多数村童小学后就辍学。为了培育孩子，她很坚决送全部孩子上中学，但是无钱交学费，和朋友借钱，但是，仍旧不够。后来，她的好朋友，李瑞琼告诉她一些教会学校学费很便宜，幸运地，孩子们都考进了教会学校。好处是教会学校是五天制的，孩子们可在周末帮忙她的工作。除此外，孩子们很小就接触到基督与圣经。

她不停地从早上车衣服到晚上，把眼睛弄坏了，不得不入医院动眼睛手术，共住了一个星期，那时她才30多岁。之后，由於工作忙碌而无定时吃饭，结果肠胃出了严重问题，他又入院动手术，并住了10天。幸亏，她的哥哥陈容与大嫂陆群每天拜访与照顾她。出院后，她的大嫂也帮忙她做家务与照顾年纪尚小的孩子。全靠上帝的恩典，她战胜了病魔后，又再为孩子的学业奋斗。全部孩子都念完FORM 5。

另外一位自年轻就认识的好朋友是周素贞女士。为了支持她，她给她一笔钱以充作孩子的教育费，这位朋友信任她会明智地运用这笔教育费，并且告诉她不必赶着还钱。虽然后来这位朋友搬去了吉兰丹，他还不时送新衣服给她的孩子。

当她的孩子们毕业了，有了工作能自立，也结婚了，她还没有完全退休，而以本身的经验来照顾孙子，以便儿女能为职业打拼。她照顾了五个孙子，包括内孙，梅志豪专科医生，梅风婷学士与外孙IR伍志忠工程师和我。我们全部都有工作并且有快乐的婚姻。他也短期照顾内孙梅志彬土木工程硕士。虽然，三个孩子目前在吉隆坡，但是他们和母亲密切来往，并且时常拜访她。我是最幸运的，因为我住在她附近，时常可以尝试她的厨艺，如扣肉，酿豆腐，鸡汤等。

对於华人家庭传统概念，她很执着。小孩小时，她已经教他们团结的重要，特别是在家庭聚会中。每年，她的四个孩子都和她团聚庆祝华族节日，也为她和丈夫庆祝生日。

今天90岁了，她很感谢上帝给她健康与快乐。她很高兴四个孩子，即梅国相，梅爱娣，梅国民，梅爱莲与她的内外孙为他举办此寿宴。目前，她的家族包括4位孩子，10位孙子与10位曾孙。她唯一想念的是她的丈夫，目前与主同在的梅财先生。但是，她今生无悔，每天赞扬主给予她一生中的家庭成员，良友与每一项事情。

愿她获得最好的祝福，因为今天她和他最亲爱人一起庆祝90岁生日。婆婆，生日快乐。希望上帝继续给你良好健康与给你力量让别人同样获得恩典。


作者：伍芝敏博士
译者：梅国民 Dip. In Translation 马大

my mother and me

My mother and me

By :MOY KOK MING (梅国民) third child

I was born in 1948 several years after the Japanese surrendered and left Malaya and the British came back to rule this country. Our family stayed very near to a hill in Old Buntong. As I was just an infant I remembered very little about that place. I only remembered our house (like all other houses) had no water and electricity supply and every night my mother would sing her lullabies to lure me and my younger sister to sleep. Later the British declared an Emergency as there was a war in the jungle and all the old Buntong folks had to move to a fenced-up New Village. Our family was given a plot of land in Buntong New Village to build our own house. I remembered my mother held my hand and walked into the new wooden house with zinc as rooftop. The new village was fenced up by the government to prevent sympathizers from giving aid to the insurgents in the jungle. Later our village had tarred road and bus services and there was a Chinese school at the edge of the village i.e. just beside the village fence.

At the age of seven, I was enrolled in the village school of wooden structure and zinc roof.. A day before going to the school, my mother advised me to study hard and to be a useful person in future. The next day I was in the school for the first day, wearing my new school uniform. Accompanying me was of course was my mother. School was not as strict as today and I found some of my classmates were still not wearing their uniforms. Thus my mother was a woman of discipline and always fulfilled the requirement of the school or whatever she did. As I was quite a brilliant student, my mother was very happy. Sometimes, other students bullied me as my size was small and I told her. The next day, she would go to the school and meet the concerned classmate, admonishing him that classmates ought to be friends and help one another.

Soon I finished my primary school and had to go to Ipoh for secondary education. At that time, there were 2 missionary schools, namely Sam Tet and Ave Maria. They are the cheapest schools in terms of school fees, because they procured aid and subsidy from overseas. My mother told me that since father did not earn much. We had to go to study in schools with lower school fees. My elder sister studied in Ave Maria while I study in Sam Tet. It was a blessing in disguise, because there was a change in education policy and the government coerced all secondary schools to used English as the medium of instruction. The missionary schools with lower school fees and an aim to spread Christianity were well prepared for the change because some of the teachers were British or American nationals. The teachers of more expensive schools had problem in switching from Chinese to English medium, just like the present teachers had problem in switching from Malay to English in science and mathematics subjects. My mother told me, “Son, now you are learning English in all subjects. So you will be able to join the government service in future.” Later I really did join the government service as the government was the best employer who would never go bankrupt or retrenched its employees. I was in the government service for 27 years maybe on the advice of my mother. After my optional retirement I joined the private sectors in Kuala Lumpur and during my free time I was a part time writer of commentary articles for local newspapers.

About secondary education, my mother nearly sacrificed the education of one of my female siblings, as we were not affluent enough to send all the four children to secondary education and at that time people preferred to give more education to male children. I admonished my mother that girls also need more education to look after themselves and be good mothers in future. My mother was open-minded enough. So, I solved a crisis in my family.

When I was a small kid, I like to see lion dance. Sometimes some young men were practicing lion dance in the basketball court in the market. When we passed through that place and heard the beating of drums I would ask my mother to bring me to see the lion dance, but usually halfway, she would bring me back. I did not understand. Now I know, because it was quite embarrassing for her to stand in front of a group of young men showing off their skill to attract other people’s attention, as my mother was still young then. I also liked to see train. Sometimes, when we passed through the Ipoh Railway Station and saw train coming. My mother would stop walking and let me see the train. Sometimes the train was too long and take more than 5 minutes to passed through. My mother would tell me to continue walking before the train completely passed through. In my infantile mind, I wondered how Herculean was the engine to pull and transport thousand tons of goods and I told my mother that I wanted to be a scientist when I grew up. However I never became a scientist because when I grew up my propensity was on the arts side. I like reading on politics and current affairs. Sometimes my mother brought me to Ipoh for shopping usually in Kwong Fatt in old town, because at that time there were no Tesco, Giant or Jayajusco. I did not like go to the departmental store (as it was called then, now it is supermarket) because my mother would take a long time to browse through the goods or clothing and it was so boring. However, good times would come later, as my mother would bring me to my favourite fish ball mee stall located opposite the Kinta Heights in old town. In early 1980s, I still brought my three children to that stall but I do not know that stall still exists today. My mother also often brought me to see dentist at the government clinic near Medan Kidd bus station, as my permanent teeth was growing then and sometime my infantile teeth blocked the growth of new permanent teeth.

My mother had gone through a life of hardship. Her mother died when she was one year old. Luckily her step mother was good to her. She also had health problem and was admitted to the hospital for operation twice, once for her eye and the other time for her stomach, but she got through all these ordeals. Otherwise, our childhood might be as helpless as her motherless childhood.

My mother is not an extra-ordinary mother and there is nothing to brag about. She is just an ordinary mother but she adhered to the teaching of Confucius to take good care of her husband and her children and never relinquished her responsibility during hardship. My parents, especially my mother had a peculiar way of bringing up children. We all mimicked my mother’s way of bringing up children. All her children had good demeanour and fairly good education while almost all her grandchildren had been quite highly educated.

At 90, the senses of my mother are still normal. She can see clearly, hear clearly and walk quite normally. At this auspicious moment I wish my mother

A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Written by MOY KOK MING on the occasion of his mother's 90th birthday